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Just choose love

I want a love that’s not just afraid of being alone.

I want a love that can help each other grow. One that is honest and is not afraid to tell each other the truth, but telling each other the best and worst things there is to tell in a loving way.

I want a love of two people different and unique from each other, not needing to like what the other likes. Not needing to side or hate what the other does. Free to have their own time, be in their own thoughts, and sharing the differences when the time comes.

I want a love that compromises. To know they’ll find something in each other that they wouldnt have seen in the start. To find that there will be people in the other’s life that they might rather not have there. But to know that to love their other half means to love the family their other half has, and that they’re also signing up for the baggages their special one comes with. There will be something, always, no matter how big or small. Both has to be prepared with that thought.

This means being open to each other’s world. Each other’s interests, the complexity of each one’s life or the lack thereof, and know that there will be dull moments, just sitting with each other minding their own, but still knowing they are with each other all the time.

I want a love that braves through the tough times. One that doesn’t forget love amidst trials. One that doesn’t lose hope and strength, i want love between two people that knows that they are fighting through pains together and not apart. It’s only through this that love never ceases to grow.

Knowing love won’t be perfect, but also knowing each will be enough to make the other’s life so, in all the imperfections a life with a couple brings.

I want a love that frees you. Love creates a world of their own for two people. But it should let you free yourself of all the masks and inhibitions you have. In all aspects. It is having a friend for all times. That requires utmost honesty. Honesty cultivated by trust. Trust cultivated by openness. Knowing that it’s a process. And a choice.

Knowing that love is a choice. Always.

I want a lover that knows that.

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Last night

I dreamt that he shot me with an empty-barreled gun. And i was so appalled because he didn’t know it wasn’t loaded. I don’t know if i’m less appalled by that than the fact that I was the one who handed it to him.

Remember remember

For a first day i winged it. I wasn’t too bad.

You never know who you should trust.. so you shoot for the moon every time. You can get lucky. Or you can get burned. And each will be a lesson. Maybe with time wiser people don’t need luck anymore. They just know better. 

I feel old.. am getting older soon. I still don’t feel wise at all. But i had a lot to learn from this past year. I hope you did too.